How not to win friends and influence people

A few months back, my wife and I decided to upgrade to new smart phones, as our cell phone contract was up for renewal. I've been a Bell Mobility customer for 14 years, and hadn't had any problems. So, we went to the local Bell Mobility store to look at some models. Wife wanted the iPhone, I looked at a few different models available, and found a Samsung model that I thought would serve my needs well. All was fine, we're gonna sign a 3 year contract, so, let's go talk to a 'Sales' representative and do some talking, right? right? wrong!

Seems they don't have any 'sales' people working for them. They now have kids who can push some buttons, set up, and show a customer how to use their new purchase only. Poor communication skills, not knowledgeable about sales or customer service.

The plan that was offered, suited my wife's needs fine. I'm not one to make a lot of phone calls, so the calling plans didn't appeal to me. But, I knew that I'd be using my new device for emails, instant messaging, text messaging, and web browsing.. so I was interested in more data usage per month, and would have sacrificed and paid for more calls, but didn't wish to get dinged every month, if I exceeded my data usage.

I received a blank stare from the 'sales' person... and from that 'sales' person's supervisor, when I had to repeat the situation. This was more than their level of intellect could process, and I wondered if I had spoken in Bantu instead of English, so I asked if they understood what I had asked. They understood the words, and language I used as English... good thing, because I would have been really weirded out to know that I could speak in Bantu, which I can't.

We were now into an area outside of their expertise, so I was pointed to a courtesy phone, and told to talk to somebody outside of the province. I guess they're taught to not bother the higher ups with any questions they may have, but have the customer speak directly with this ethereal, disconnected voice from somewhere else, instead.

After waiting for 5 or 6 minutes, I finally heard another human voice on the line, and it spoke in perfect English, and understood the words that I was speaking. Ok, now we're getting somewhere, I thought. So, I had to repeat everything that I just said to an on-floor 'sales' person, and supervisor.

Silence.

I asked if I was understood. "Yes", was the reply.

"And?" I asked.

More Silence.

And then, about 45 seconds later, the ethereal voice spoke again. "I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do."

"Is there anybody else that I could speak to?" I asked.

"No sir."

Wow, I thought... a regular 'brain trust' in this outfit. And yes, I was getting upset at this point.

"So, enough of this game of Cowboys and Indians.", I say to the wife. "Let's see if the folks at Telus Mobility, in the shop next door are any better."

In and out in less than 20 minutes, with a contract that we were happy with. Friendly and helpful staff, to boot. I tried, but I couldn't dumbfound them with simple questions in English.

Now, you'd think that a company like Bell, would have a good information base for their employees to use, right? We switched providers, and kept our same phone numbers. Somebody looking up my account would see that we've left, and used the same numbers with a different provider, and without too much mental extrapolation, realize that we've signed a new contract. Nope.

I've gotten 3 calls from Bell Mobility since we switched providers, trying to sell me on their 'latest' and 'greatest' deals. And I'm no expert when it comes to linguistics, but I'm 95 percent sure that these calls came from Mumbai, or Bangalore in India. I've dealt with Dell's customer service in Bangalore, and the accent is familiar, as are the familiar names in India that phone support likes to use, "Steve", "Joe", and "Brian", are very popular names for Indian dudes these days, it seems. And at the first call, I asked to have my number removed from their call list.. as I did with the second call.. and the third call.

Better bottom line and bonuses for executives, if they don't have to hire Canadians to work for a Canadian company, and pay them a Canadian wage, eh?





.. which brings us to today.

I get an account summary from Bell Mobility, with a negative balance for $36.67 CND. There's no information about how to reclaim my money on this summary, but I know that if it had a positive balance, I could go to the local Bell Mobility Store to pay it in cash. They take cash, I've paid in cash before. They have cash registers and everything at the store. I pay, they enter some information, stamp my receipt, and off I go. So, doing the reverse shouldn't be akin to landing a man on the moon in my mind, and off I go to the Bell Store.

So, I wait in line with one other person for half an hour before I get to counter.. and when it's finally my turn, I approach with my account summary, driver's license, and 35 cents in change.. a couple 20s back, and you can keep the extra 2 cents, right?

Wrong.
(edit) wow, my math was bad there, eh? I blame the head cold, and waiting in line. I had the loonie and twonie accounted for before I entered, but just a quarter and a dime, in my hand when I approached the counter.

Apparently, I've just proposed landing a man on the surface of Jupiter, and expect a safe return trip. These 'sales' people, are once again befuddled. And once again, cannot answer my questions that are spoken in slow, nuanced, clear English. Well, I'm not pointed to the courtesy phone this time.. I'm given a 3" x 2" slip of photo copied paper that was cut from a sheet, by a 6 year old, who hasn't mastered scissors yet. 4 corners, none near 90 degrees, which has a phone number and two bullet point instructions:

* Say English
* Keep Pressing Zero Until You Are Transferred To A Rep =)

Capitalize every word, no punctuation, and use a 'smiley'... tres professionalle indeed.

So, I go to my car, and call. 10 minutes of hold time, with an interruption every couple of minutes, informing me that my call may be recorded. I think, "Please.. I'd love one of the 'higher ups' at this 'Canadian' company to actually hear what I have to say." No, I'm not gonna hold my breath on that one.

I finally get a rep on the line.. pleasant for a change.. that's a surprise.. maybe she's new? I explained the whole situation to her, asked why they didn't enclose instructions, or, even better, a cheque?... instead of me having to drive across town, and end up frustrated as hell.. again!!

She informs that it will take 70 days to process my refund. Nice, I've never let my cell bills go past due.. think that they'll include the 42.58% per annum that they charge on past due accounts?

I'm not gonna hold my breath on that one either.

Bell was a great Canadian company. Was. They've given up caring. More schmos raping a perfectly good company, for short term profits. Unless I had word that they were cracking some skulls at the top, and changing their policies, if I were a share holder, I'd be dumping my stock in Bell Mobility Canada. They are on a clear path to extinction.

Friday Night Guitar To Rule Your Face

Paul Gilbert gives us tonight's shredding lesson, tasty and technical.

Common ancestry, my opposable toed foot!

The PBS television series, NOVA, has a great series titled, Becoming Human. Part 1 of 3 aired last Tuesday, Part 2 is this Tuesday, and I'm looking forward to seeing it.

Part 1, "First Steps," examines the factors that caused us to split from the other great apes. The program explores the fossil of "Selam," also known as "Lucy's Child." Paleoanthropologist Zeray Alemseged spent five years carefully excavating the sandstone-embedded fossil. NOVA's cameras are there to capture the unveiling of the face, spine, and shoulder blades of this 3.3 million-year-old fossil child. And NOVA takes viewers "inside the skull" to show how our ancestors' brains had begun to change from those of the apes.

Why did leaps in human evolution take place? "First Steps" explores a provocative "big idea" that sharp swings of climate were a key factor.

The other programs in the "Becoming Human" series are Part 2: "Birth of Humanity," which profiles the earliest species of humans, and Part 3: "Last Human Standing," which examines why, of various human species that once shared the planet, only our kind remains.

I was thinking about human migration the other week, and the thought came to me that my own blood line has circled the globe to meet on this little rock in the North Atlantic. Most of my ancestry is Western European, Scotch and English in particular, but on my Father's side, his Great Great Grandmother was Naskapi Innu.



Roy Zimmerman has a great song about it all entitled, "Rift Valley Drifters" and I highly recommend you check out some of his other songs.

Flavor Flave In Da Woofhouse

My friend, Kathy just adopted an American Hairless Terrier. His name is Norman. Isn't he a cutie? When I saw the little shirt, and the way that the collar and leash were hanging, I got inspired for a quick photoshop.

Master! Master of Noodles I'm Pulling Your Strings

Impressed the heck out of me.

Possible Ancient Crater?

So, I'm watching a televison show on Outdoor Life Network Canada last night, called Mantracker. It's a campy show, but last night's episode featured a couple of local boys trying to outwit the Mantracker through an area of Gros Morne National Park. Gros Morne is known to have some of the oldest exposed rock on the planet, and offers some brillant scenery.

Anyhoo, I pull up google maps of this area, and as the human brain is wont to do, I notice a pattern. Do you see it?



Highlighted satelite and terrain images here.

I'm not a geologist, and there may be a perfectly logical explaination for the pattern, but if it is an impact crater, I'm thinking that it would be one of the oldest on Earth. I think that I'll send a note to the geology dept at the local university and see what they have to say.

The Twisted Logic of Believers

Yes, we realize that you can't understand us atheists. We're just mad at God. We are mad at something(s) which we know doesn't exist. Funny that if we don't believe in Zeus, Odin, Krishna, Buddha, Vishnu, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, or pink unicorns... we're completely fine. But if we don't believe in your version of a deity, we're mad at God.

We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. - Richard Dawkins


The Friendly Atheist gives us a nice reference list too.

Edit Bonus:

Friday Night Guitar To Rule Your Face

Les and Chet pickin'.. if you play electric guitar, raise a drink to these two heroes.

Friday Night Guitar To Rule Your Face

a little virtuosity on a scalloped necked stratocaster

Friday Night Guitar To Rule Your Face

I'm in a mellow mood tonight, enjoy Canada's Fist Lady of Guitar, Liona Boyd.

A Liberal, Progressive Church in America? Logic Fail

Reuters again.

The U.S. Episcopal Church gave its clergy the go-ahead on Friday to bless some same-sex unions, such as civil partnerships in states that legally recognize them, setting the stage for further conflict with the wider Anglican world.

I was raised Anglican, and can vouch that the Church of England is pretty tame compared to some other religions.

The drama is unfolding against the backdrop of America's wider debate over sexual orientation issues, such as gay marriage, child adoption by same-sex parents and the status of homosexuals in the military.

According to the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, the United Church of Christ is alone among major U.S. Christian denominations in officially recognizing gay marriage. The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America may decide in August to sanction same-sex marriage as well.

Polls consistently show gays and lesbians enjoying growing acceptance in American society. But fast-growing faiths in the United States such as many evangelical Protestant churches and the Mormon church regard homosexual relations as sinful and proscribed by scripture.

Yay, for progress. But something in the back of my brain tells me that this is a business decision by the Episcopal Church.

I'm also reminded of this quote: "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

In related news, our first local Gay Pride Parade is taking place on August 1st. I have a couple of friends attending, and I'm thinking about showing my support and take it in.. maybe take a few photos and blog about it.

Columbus may have know of the New World in advance

Reuters reported yesterday, that the 15th century Vinland Map, is the real McCoy and has been radio carbon dated to 1440.

Controversy has swirled around the map since it came to light in the 1950s, many scholars suspecting it was a hoax meant to prove that Vikings were the first Europeans to land in North America -- a claim confirmed by a 1960 archaeological find.

That would be the find at L'Anse aux Meadows, on Newfoundland's Great Northern Peninsula.

The Vinland Map is not a "Viking map" and does not alter the historical understanding of who first sailed to North America. But if it is genuine, it shows that the New World was known not only to Norsemen but also to other Europeans at least half a century before Columbus's voyage.

Photo of the Norse settlement replica, a few hundred feet from the actual archaeological site.
L'Anse aux Meadows photo taken by my good friend Lionel, during his visit two years ago.


Lionel getting his "viking" on.

Old Testament - Torah - Short Version

In the beginning of this story, a man named Adam and his wife Eve are kicked out, or leave on their own, a town named Eden.. for being atheists. They saw the tricks of the town leaders and their stories about god(s), for the lies that they were, and how those lies controlled the public to the leaders' advantage. They founded a new town elsewhere which gave in to superstitions a generation or two later.

Elsewhere, a man named Noah raised livestock near a river. Noah was a bit odd, for, as others had small boats in the river, he also built a raft near his barn. One day the river flooded its banks, and all the villagers lost their livestock. Except for Noah, who was able to save enough goats, sheep, and chickens to repopulate his flocks in a few years.

Sometime later, an illusionist named Moses travels between Egypt and the Dead Sea, performing his tricks and acquiring these and many other stories from all over the lands, including stories from the silk and spice roads. He writes these down, edits, embellishes, and makes sure to add some wonderful stories about himself for good measure. He's likely an opium user, as he has a penchant for talking to shrubbery.

Others add to these stories over the years, and intertwine some allegory, some local history, some moralistic messages, and some bat-shit crazy fiction.

Then a strange thing happens... people start believing these stories, despite all the crazy fiction, and then somebody decided to take advantage of those fools and their easily parted money.

The End.

Friday Night Guitar To Rule Your Face

One of my favourite guitarists



studio version here for those not into improvisation and expansion on theme.

The Parable of the Pawnbroker

This story comes via a poster named wiploc over at talkrational.

I was a pawnbroker. This is a true story. This guy came into my store, drew a chain out of his right-side pocket, and said, "How much will you give me for this fine gold necklace?" I figured, because he said it that way, that he was lying, that it was a fake necklace. I don't like being lied to, and this guy had already given me enough, by my standards, to justify my disbelief.

But I didn't tell him so. I politely looked at his necklace. It was fake. I pointed out to him the chintzy clasp, totally unlike what would be on a necklace of value. But he still insisted that it was real; so I cut the chain with a file, ready to test it with acid. But I didn't need the acid: the inside was brown, not even gold in color.

The guy dropped the chain in his left pocket. He drew another chain out of his right pocket, and said, "This one's the real thing." This one's the real thing? That was like admitting he'd known all along that the first one was fake.

I showed him that this one didn't say, "14K," like real gold would. It said, "14KEP," meaning it was electroplate. It wasn't even pretending to be real. But the guy still insisted it was real. So I cut it with my file, and showed him it was another fake.

Can you guess what he did then? He dropped it into his left pocket, pulled a third chain from his right, and told me that this one was real. I was happy to file this one too, ruin it, so he couldn't try to fool anyone else.

He pulled out a fourth chain. He said it was real. I showed him that it wasn't.

He pulled out a fifth chain. He said it was real. I showed him that it wasn't.

He pulled out a sixth chain. He said it was real. I showed him that it wasn't.

He pulled out a seventh chain. He said it was real. I showed him that it wasn't.

He pulled out an eighth chain. He told me that this one was real. Here's the thing: I had I detected a pattern. Two patterns.

First pattern: When this guy said a chain was real, that didn't carry any weight. His apparent sincerity was an act or a pathology, not an indication of actual truthfulness. His saying something was legitimate didn't make it legitimate, didn't even increase the likelihood that it was legitimate.

Second pattern: This guy's chains were fake. I had yet to examine his eighth chain, but I already believed it was fake.

I was willing to be surprised; if the chain turned out to be real, I would have accepted that. But I believed it was fake. And that was a justified belief, reasonable in the circumstances.


This story is analogous with my experience with Christianity. Somebody will tell me that the ontological argument is solid gold proof of the existence of Jehovah. I point out that it is patently absurd, and he pulls out another argument.

He doesn't blush or backpedal. He makes no apology for having indiscriminately swallowed a lie and repeated it as a truth. He doesn't tell his friends, "Hey, don't be using thiss argument anymore." No, he just tells me that the modal argument for necessary greatness is absolute proof of god's existence. When I point out that this argument is no stronger than its opposite, the modal argument for the nonexistence of necessary greatness, what does he do? Is he taken aback? Does he say he'd better rethink whether his god really exists? Of course not. He pulls out another argument, and says, with all the sincerity of a seller of fake chains, "This one's the real thing."

For decades I have examined these arguments, tested them, found them to be not merely false but transparently false. They say "14KEP" right on them. They are not such as would fool anyone but those desperate to believe.

I see the pattern. I believe that the next theist argument will also be false. And my belief is justified. It is just as well founded as my belief about that eighth chain.


Now it's certainly possible that I haven't heard all the arguments. And it is theoretically possible that one of those that I've never been exposed to is legitimate. But I don't think that's the case. Here's why: If the theists had a good argument, they would present it. The only reason they use bad arguments is that they don't have any good ones.

They not only want to believe, they want to win other people to their beliefs. For those purposes, good arguments would work well---but bad arguments work only poorly. So I feel justified in believing that, if they had good arguments, they would use them.

But they don't use them. They use only bad arguments. The arguments of Christians then, are good justification for believing that Christianity is indefensible. The arguments of Christians justify atheism.

Using nothing but the books themselves for evidence, if we were to assert that Tolkien's great work, The Lord of The Rings, was an actual account of historical events, somebody would believe it to be truth. And the apologists would explain that Balrogs, Dwarves, Elves and Hobbits once roamed the earth, and an enchanted ring made its wearer invisible to all.

Stories, myths, fables, legends, lore, song, dance, poetry..
These are some of the ways humanity learned and passed down information through the millenia. Then humanity became literate, and able to read for themselves, and not rely on somebody else's interpretation of texts. They could reference other sources and discern what was true, what was false, and what was allegory.

Big claims demand big evidence. A book written by man about a god is no more evidence for a god, than another other book written by man, is evidence for Hobbits. Plus, the book about Hobbits is a much better work of fiction, with plenty of moralistic messages, and nobody demanding that it is an historical account of anything.

$2.00 Deluxe Hugs, Tax Included

Time Lapse Tilt Shift

Scenes from a rooftop from Paul Johannessen on Vimeo.

I like the tilt shift effect in photography. It fools the eye with focus and makes it seem like you're looking at miniature. Paul Johannessen does a great job here.

Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage to Everyone Else

America's Best Christian takes time to explain to less informed Christians the curious details of the Lord's concept of marriage.

Tip of the hat to Lionel.

Darwin Award Candidates

Heck, why not? I love pointing out the inanity of humanity ...especially, Sean Hannity.
And to prove that I'm not going to show favouritism, I'm gonna start with a story close to home.
The two candidates decided that it was a good idea to jump aboard a small, 11 foot/3 metre, plywood boat, with a 2 H.P. outboard motor, no life jackets, one oar, and venture out into the North Atlantic, in late May...... at NIGHT! AT THE FOGGIEST PLACE ON THE PLANET!1!

Alex Day, who fishes for crab from Portugal Cove, found the overturned boat on Monday. He said it was only 11 feet long and five feet wide (3.35 by 1.5 metres).

"It was only a little pond boat," Day told CBC News on Tuesday.

"Not what you'd call a fishing boat. Just plywood. [It] was just built with staples, with a staple gun or something," he said. "It didn't seem like a hardy, strong outfit at all."

If only we lived in an age where people could easily learn some boating information.

Stay Classy Bill

Bill Donohue, President of the American Catholic League, and World Class Asshole. He doesn't like that people are upset by the report that lists the systematic abuses that took place in Irish Orphanages.


Update:
Bill takes on comedian Louis C.K. and fails at reason. Who elects this guy?