Tuesday, October 12, 2010

How not to win friends and influence people

A few months back, my wife and I decided to upgrade to new smart phones, as our cell phone contract was up for renewal. I've been a Bell Mobility customer for 14 years, and hadn't had any problems. So, we went to the local Bell Mobility store to look at some models. Wife wanted the iPhone, I looked at a few different models available, and found a Samsung model that I thought would serve my needs well. All was fine, we're gonna sign a 3 year contract, so, let's go talk to a 'Sales' representative and do some talking, right? right? wrong!

Seems they don't have any 'sales' people working for them. They now have kids who can push some buttons, set up, and show a customer how to use their new purchase only. Poor communication skills, not knowledgeable about sales or customer service.

The plan that was offered, suited my wife's needs fine. I'm not one to make a lot of phone calls, so the calling plans didn't appeal to me. But, I knew that I'd be using my new device for emails, instant messaging, text messaging, and web browsing.. so I was interested in more data usage per month, and would have sacrificed and paid for more calls, but didn't wish to get dinged every month, if I exceeded my data usage.

I received a blank stare from the 'sales' person... and from that 'sales' person's supervisor, when I had to repeat the situation. This was more than their level of intellect could process, and I wondered if I had spoken in Bantu instead of English, so I asked if they understood what I had asked. They understood the words, and language I used as English... good thing, because I would have been really weirded out to know that I could speak in Bantu, which I can't.

We were now into an area outside of their expertise, so I was pointed to a courtesy phone, and told to talk to somebody outside of the province. I guess they're taught to not bother the higher ups with any questions they may have, but have the customer speak directly with this ethereal, disconnected voice from somewhere else, instead.

After waiting for 5 or 6 minutes, I finally heard another human voice on the line, and it spoke in perfect English, and understood the words that I was speaking. Ok, now we're getting somewhere, I thought. So, I had to repeat everything that I just said to an on-floor 'sales' person, and supervisor.

Silence.

I asked if I was understood. "Yes", was the reply.

"And?" I asked.

More Silence.

And then, about 45 seconds later, the ethereal voice spoke again. "I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do."

"Is there anybody else that I could speak to?" I asked.

"No sir."

Wow, I thought... a regular 'brain trust' in this outfit. And yes, I was getting upset at this point.

"So, enough of this game of Cowboys and Indians.", I say to the wife. "Let's see if the folks at Telus Mobility, in the shop next door are any better."

In and out in less than 20 minutes, with a contract that we were happy with. Friendly and helpful staff, to boot. I tried, but I couldn't dumbfound them with simple questions in English.

Now, you'd think that a company like Bell, would have a good information base for their employees to use, right? We switched providers, and kept our same phone numbers. Somebody looking up my account would see that we've left, and used the same numbers with a different provider, and without too much mental extrapolation, realize that we've signed a new contract. Nope.

I've gotten 3 calls from Bell Mobility since we switched providers, trying to sell me on their 'latest' and 'greatest' deals. And I'm no expert when it comes to linguistics, but I'm 95 percent sure that these calls came from Mumbai, or Bangalore in India. I've dealt with Dell's customer service in Bangalore, and the accent is familiar, as are the familiar names in India that phone support likes to use, "Steve", "Joe", and "Brian", are very popular names for Indian dudes these days, it seems. And at the first call, I asked to have my number removed from their call list.. as I did with the second call.. and the third call.

Better bottom line and bonuses for executives, if they don't have to hire Canadians to work for a Canadian company, and pay them a Canadian wage, eh?





.. which brings us to today.

I get an account summary from Bell Mobility, with a negative balance for $36.67 CND. There's no information about how to reclaim my money on this summary, but I know that if it had a positive balance, I could go to the local Bell Mobility Store to pay it in cash. They take cash, I've paid in cash before. They have cash registers and everything at the store. I pay, they enter some information, stamp my receipt, and off I go. So, doing the reverse shouldn't be akin to landing a man on the moon in my mind, and off I go to the Bell Store.

So, I wait in line with one other person for half an hour before I get to counter.. and when it's finally my turn, I approach with my account summary, driver's license, and 35 cents in change.. a couple 20s back, and you can keep the extra 2 cents, right?

Wrong.
(edit) wow, my math was bad there, eh? I blame the head cold, and waiting in line. I had the loonie and twonie accounted for before I entered, but just a quarter and a dime, in my hand when I approached the counter.

Apparently, I've just proposed landing a man on the surface of Jupiter, and expect a safe return trip. These 'sales' people, are once again befuddled. And once again, cannot answer my questions that are spoken in slow, nuanced, clear English. Well, I'm not pointed to the courtesy phone this time.. I'm given a 3" x 2" slip of photo copied paper that was cut from a sheet, by a 6 year old, who hasn't mastered scissors yet. 4 corners, none near 90 degrees, which has a phone number and two bullet point instructions:

* Say English
* Keep Pressing Zero Until You Are Transferred To A Rep =)


Capitalize every word, no punctuation, and use a 'smiley'... tres professionalle indeed.

So, I go to my car, and call. 10 minutes of hold time, with an interruption every couple of minutes, informing me that my call may be recorded. I think, "Please.. I'd love one of the 'higher ups' at this 'Canadian' company to actually hear what I have to say." No, I'm not gonna hold my breath on that one.

I finally get a rep on the line.. pleasant for a change.. that's a surprise.. maybe she's new? I explained the whole situation to her, asked why they didn't enclose instructions, or, even better, a cheque?... instead of me having to drive across town, and end up frustrated as hell.. again!!

She informs that it will take 70 days to process my refund. Nice, I've never let my cell bills go past due.. think that they'll include the 42.58% per annum that they charge on past due accounts?

I'm not gonna hold my breath on that one either.

Bell was a great Canadian company. Was. They've given up caring. More schmos raping a perfectly good company, for short term profits. Unless I had word that they were cracking some skulls at the top, and changing their policies, if I were a share holder, I'd be dumping my stock in Bell Mobility Canada. They are on a clear path to extinction.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Friday Night Guitar To Rule Your Face



Paul Gilbert gives us tonight's shredding lesson, tasty and technical.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Common ancestry, my opposable toed foot!




The PBS television series, NOVA, has a great series titled, Becoming Human. Part 1 of 3 aired last Tuesday, Part 2 is this Tuesday, and I'm looking forward to seeing it.

Part 1, "First Steps," examines the factors that caused us to split from the other great apes. The program explores the fossil of "Selam," also known as "Lucy's Child." Paleoanthropologist Zeray Alemseged spent five years carefully excavating the sandstone-embedded fossil. NOVA's cameras are there to capture the unveiling of the face, spine, and shoulder blades of this 3.3 million-year-old fossil child. And NOVA takes viewers "inside the skull" to show how our ancestors' brains had begun to change from those of the apes.

Why did leaps in human evolution take place? "First Steps" explores a provocative "big idea" that sharp swings of climate were a key factor.

The other programs in the "Becoming Human" series are Part 2: "Birth of Humanity," which profiles the earliest species of humans, and Part 3: "Last Human Standing," which examines why, of various human species that once shared the planet, only our kind remains.





I was thinking about human migration the other week, and the thought came to me that my own blood line has circled the globe to meet on this little rock in the North Atlantic. Most of my ancestry is Western European, Scotch and English in particular, but on my Father's side, his Great Great Grandmother was Naskapi Innu.



Roy Zimmerman has a great song about it all entitled, "Rift Valley Drifters" and I highly recommend you check out some of his other songs.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Flavor Flave In Da Woofhouse



My friend, Kathy just adopted an American Hairless Terrier. His name is Norman. Isn't he a cutie? When I saw the little shirt, and the way that the collar and leash were hanging, I got inspired for a quick photoshop.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Possible Ancient Crater?

So, I'm watching a televison show on Outdoor Life Network Canada last night, called Mantracker. It's a campy show, but last night's episode featured a couple of local boys trying to outwit the Mantracker through an area of Gros Morne National Park. Gros Morne is known to have some of the oldest exposed rock on the planet, and offers some brillant scenery.

Anyhoo, I pull up google maps of this area, and as the human brain is wont to do, I notice a pattern. Do you see it?



Highlighted satelite and terrain images here.

I'm not a geologist, and there may be a perfectly logical explaination for the pattern, but if it is an impact crater, I'm thinking that it would be one of the oldest on Earth. I think that I'll send a note to the geology dept at the local university and see what they have to say.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Twisted Logic of Believers



Yes, we realize that you can't understand us atheists. We're just mad at God. We are mad at something(s) which we know doesn't exist. Funny that if we don't believe in Zeus, Odin, Krishna, Buddha, Vishnu, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, or pink unicorns... we're completely fine. But if we don't believe in your version of a deity, we're mad at God.

We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. - Richard Dawkins


The Friendly Atheist gives us a nice reference list too.

Edit Bonus: